Teenagers and frustration

If we want to bring our teenagers up better, we need to give them the chance to face their own failure. I say that because we always wish for the happiness of our children and sometimes, to achieve this honest aim, we make avoidable mistakes, for example, when we resolve their problems because we do not want to accept that tough times are part of growing up. We might think that these mistakes do not affect teenagers so much but as a teacher I can state that it is really easy to notice which pupils are being shown how to face up to problems, and which are unable to because their parents do not let them become adults.

The difference is that those in the first group are used to looking for a solution and waste no time complaining. Meanwhile, the others end up with the belief that there is a huge conspiracy working against their desire for success. In consequence, we should realise that in the future they will make choices based on their acceptance of frustration. They are probably going to have the same kind of studies, jobs or friendships, but when trouble appears, their peers will be able to keep on working on following their dreams, while the weaker ones will give up because they have never climbed a mountain before.

So, if we have a need to improve the way we raise our children, we must start by looking at ourselves. Are we helping them too much? If the answer is affirmative, don't worry; it's healthy to make mistakes because it helps us to become better parents in the long run. However, if we are aware that we are leading them into an existence in which the world is perfect, then we have to change direction. For instance, we could start giving them confidence about their studies, friends, or responsibilities in the home. If we allow them freedom, could be firmer when it comes to asking for results, and if they are not able to achieve their aims due to a lack of willpower, then they must learn to overcome that. In other words, we must accept that they are going to suffer, and we will suffer in silence with them. If we come up another hypothesis, then it means that we are not seeing reality as it is.

In conclusion, we need teenagers who are not scared of making decisions because they want to be responsible for their lives, and to tell the truth. I am afraid we have teenagers who do not want to leave home, because if they have a problem, nobody is going to resolve it for them. So, if we want to ensure happiness for our children, we have to betray ourselves as parents. We must not forget that it is our responsibility because it is our future, and if we are not aware of it yet, just remember the lyrics of the song we sang when we were younger: “Let it be, let it be, speaking words of wisdom, let it be.”